Monday, January 24, 2011

New look and jumpstart jokes

Notice the new look? It's a subtle change, I know. Baby steps :).

I had an exhausting weekend, so I wanted to jumpstart the week with some humor. Three jokes to be exact, and I tried to strike a balance for both sexes ;). But first mark your calendars for Monday, February 7th and spread the word! I'm sooo excited about my next interview. Harlequin Superromance author Jeannie Watt will be here. Trust me, you don't want to miss this interview!

And now to start your week with a smile...

The forgotten anniversary

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday.

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

What is my gender?

Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male, didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

That's all folks! Have a great Monday!


  1. I loved all of these! But especially the Wake Up Call.

    Ref: new look

    Now I feel bad. I can't remember what it looked like before. Did you add the water splash?

  2. LOL, Maria. I did say subtle ;). Blogger has new template designs to work with. I had the plain minima box at the top with my title and that was pretty much it...other than two beach pics. I added the colored box with header, border and water splash. Maybe I should have said 'ant steps' instead of baby, LOL.

  3. Thanks for the Monday Morning Funny. Love the scale!!

  4. Thanks for sharing. The Silent Treatment made me laugh out loud. I'll look out for that interview.

  5. I like your newly designed site. Lol at ant steps.
    Great waking up to your jokes, had me chuckling.
    Will look forward to the Super author interview!

  6. Funny post. I found you through L'Aussie. Nice to meet you.
    N. R. Williams, fantasy author

  7. Hi N.R.! L'Aussie is great :). Thanks for stopping in and for following!

  8. Oooh, so nice here! I like the little change. :)

    Loved the jokes. They ALL brought a smile to my face!!

  9. Nice change, Rula! Subtle, but I love it. I'm stilll chuckling over your jokes. Makes me realize I haven't actually *heard* a joke in ages.